Basics

I am taking my time dabbling in the basics as of now. In order to understand my walk with God, I have to make an effort to get to know God, through His Word, and through his prayer. I have begun the 365 day walk through the Bible, and on March 1, 2011, I will have read it in its entirety. God Willing. I am actually looking forward to this, for I think that it will provide many more answers to my questions, and undoubtedly answer questions I may have never thought to ask.

On Day Two I read Genesis 4-6. As I read of Cain and Abel, I was humbled. Cain said, "Am I my brother's keeper?" I ask....shouldn't we all be? I think of the example I have provided for my young sisters, and am humbled at the images I have presented to them. Though I have come to represent hope in the forms of education and opportunities, I have not provided the strong spiritual model that I had once hoped to convey. It is hard to admit, but I feel that I have failed them in a way. And though it saddens me to think of myself as a failure, I know that it is not too late. I still have an opportunity to become a beacon of hope in spirituality. I can still help shine light on the path to God. My hope is that they listen. My hope is that they see changes in me over time, and grow to yearn for the same. I pray, I can me their missionary.

Noah's description has me thinking, would God have entrusted such an arduous task to me? I dare to say he wouldn't. What has been so important thus far, as to make me into a person in which God would not see as favorable. Someone that I do not even see as favorable. Though I wish I could provide an answer I cannot. I fail to be able to pinpoint an idea, possession, person, or thing that is of enough importance to convince me to cast aside my undivided attention on God. And yet, unfortunately, I have done just that.

I believe in God, and therefore I have to believe that everything happens for a reason. My mistakes, trials, turmoils, and pain have all come about because of Gods will. I have to marvel at the fact that my dire mistakes have brought me to a point where I seek Him with such fervor that I have lacked in the past. It makes me wonder if all of this was to prevent me from a mediocre relationship with God, and into a more passionate one. If that is the case, I am truly delighted. And if this new relationship is a side effect of another point God is trying to make, then I will take the side effect, up my dosage, and keep on pushing forward.

The Lord is my Shepard...I shall not want!

Day 7....